you only have one life...

Our trip :)

So... we're back!
And we had a fabulous time!! :)
I finally downloaded our photos and here they are..
New Hampshire, Maine, Vermont, and Boston... well, what we saw of them anyway.



Our reflection on the sand.. Wells Beach, Maine.


Looking very excited to be at the beach, even with sweaters and vests on!


Wells Beach, Maine.


Lighthouse near Kittery Point, Maine.


Amazing fall foliage within walking distance of our resort on Mt Sunapee..
Lake Sunapee, NH.


Had to see a historical thing or two in Boston... Quincy Market.















Historic cemetery.. part of Boston Freedom Trail.















Quechee, Vermont.















Stuart drooling over a pretty cool (expensive) car in Portsmouth, NH.















The most beautiful tree I have ever seen, outside Strawberry Banke Museum...
Portsmouth, NH.















Hampton Beach, NH.















A quick pose on the beach :)















Nice pile of lobster buoys we saw piled inside of a random boat.















Another beautiful view of the beach.. I think this one is Rye Beach, NH.


There are many, many more pics.
We'll post a few more in a later post. Hopefully you enjoy seeing them!

Favorite purchase from our trip!!! the new Beirut cd :) enjoy!

****Pause the Mixpod music on the bottom of our page to enjoy the video.

More pics and trip/life details to come when I get a chance to be online for more than 2 minutes!

Note to self.....

"I tell you the truth,

if you have faith as small as a mustard seed,

you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,'

and it will move.

Nothing will be impossible for you”

(Matthew 17:20).

non-blogging blog

To the three of you that are still checking our blog..... ;)

Sorry for this lame and completely un-updated "blog"...
And I use that term very loosely since the actual purpose of a "blog" is to post things on a somewhat regular basis so that people can, oh.. I don't know.. read your written thoughts!
Of course, that's assuming that I have any! ;)
Ha.

Truthfully, my problem has never been NOT having thoughts.. its actually the opposite.
I have to physically and consciously slow my brain down and stop long enough to sit at the computer and gather a cohesive stream that's worthy of recording into a posting.
And that's my other problem...
I think that I put waaaaay too much relevance on this blogging thing. Like what I say has to be of some enormous amount of importance or something?
I mean, "worthy of recording into a posting"... did I just write that?.... Twice?

I spend way too much time in my head (if that makes sense?). I need to just relax and get over myself. Taking life way too seriously is my biggest fault.
I have issues with living in the moment and being present. I'm working on it though!
Hey, I'm typing something right now!

I'm actually blogging on my "blog"??? Holy crap, what a concept!

So anywho..

What have we been up to?

Well, we decided after the long-awaited mailing of our adoption application to the smaller, local agency in Murfreesboro, that we may have made a mistake.

We were soo freaking excited, thrilled actually, to finally be mailing that packet in!
And then, we waited, and waited, and waited... Finally after over 2 weeks of waiting, I called and called and called... and apparently no one ever answers the phone there??
So we started having second thoughts about that agency.
I mean, if we are already having communication problems and difficulty in their returning phone calls, and this is at the beginning? Well, it doesn't look good for the remainder of our relationship and we still have a very very long way to go.

We didn't make any hasty decisions though. I called a national agency that had also sent us a paperwork packet and info several months ago. They had continued to send us emails since then as well, which is kind of cool to be updated on the goings-on at the agency and all of that jazz. Its important!
So after a very long chat with two super-nice ladies at the other agency, we made the decision to fill out their preliminary application online and see what happens!

The VERY next day, we received an email from the local (first) agency's case worker director regarding moving forward with our process... the only problem besides it taking nearly 3 weeks to contact us, is that the person assigned to us only works 1 1/2 days per week.
Don't get me wrong! That's a pretty sweet schedule for her. But not so good for us.
A lot of adoption stuff is time-sensitive and 1 1/2 days a week is not going to be enough, especially since I'm certain that we wouldn't be her only case.

So needless to say, we have decided to pursue the second agency, "Bethany Christian Services". And so far, so good.
They have kept us very informed and updated. All of the people I've spoken to have been amazingly informative. And they put me at ease. It just feels right.

Maybe I sound like a total nut to you, overreacting about the 3 weeks and the 1 1/2 days...
But this is a very strange process to begin with!
I mean, the whole thing is very.... "removed"?
I'm not sure if that's the proper word for what I'm trying to say but you just feel like you're 'on the outside looking in' through this. At least that's how I feel.

And like you're completely at someone else's mercy.
The agency has the ability to approve or deny you.
Another country can approve or deny you.
Birth parents can approve or deny you.
Your entire life (history, finances, careers, health, past health, childhood, friends, family, potential-future-parenting-style...) will either work for or against you.

Maybe its just because we're in that "approval" phase right now. But I'm really feeling like I'm under the microscope. And I'm filled with self-doubt.. Like maybe I'm not good enough, or we're not enough somehow as a couple?
Its all very emotional and psychological.
Someone else is deciding if your life is worthy of a child...
deciding if you can have a family or not..
and that's tough.
Really really tough.

I accept it 100%. I mean, what else can I do... its how this process works. But its still very difficult for me.
Stuart is great through all of this. He believes that everything will be great and we're on our way! Nothing can stop us! Faith, Summer, Faith!
I know. I know!
I'm still trying to keep my focus and I do have Faith. But I can't stop that knot in my throat from forming as I sit here thinking (all in my head again... dammit!) about the "what-if's"...

So the point of all of this ranting is that we are still around. Just not blogging as much anymore because I feel like we don't have much to say.
Its hard to be inspired to post on your "adoption blog" when you have no news and you're worried that someone at the adoption agency is going to stamp"Denied" on your packet any second, and then what?

(In case you're wondering, I do realized what a complete spazz I am being. And that most likely all of this will work out fine but I am naturally a worry-wart and all-around doubter of everything.. )
And I'm also just getting over being sick, so my cynicism and self-pity monitor go through the roof when I don't feel good and I've been at home too long.... thinking about my life and its direction.. Too much self-analysis and reflection. Pooey.

But other than that, things are just peachy! ;)
ha!

Really, I am not a depressed, suicidal nutcase, I swear! This is why I don't blog very often.. my dark humor and cynical views sound much less charming written down.. ;)

My next blog will be joyful, positive and full of daffodil-like delighfulness, I promise! Bunnies and violets, you'll see!


Okay, I just reread my posting to proofread, (I'm ridiculous, I know..) but seriously, just so you know, I'm a very happy person.. No, really!
;)

Maybe I shouldn't blog anymore because this one is pretty bad.. Sorry, to the 3 of you!

Ok, kids. Time for another random Korean language lesson.

안녕하세요
hello


나는 당신을 사랑합니다
I love you


화장실이 어디 있어요
Where is the bathroom?


어떻게 지내세요
How are you?


내가 잠들기 오전
I am falling asleep


안녕히 가세요
goodbye


난 네가 좋은 밤시길 바래요
I hope you have a good night


이름이 무엇입니까
What is your name?


뭘 잘못이다 그래 내가 아내를 원하는 폴란드어
What is wrong with you? Yes I want a Polish wife


이걸 다 이해합니다
Are you understanding all of this?


어디 카르멘 샌디에고입니다
Where is Carmen San Diego?


행복한 일주일
Have a happy week


혹시 종이 타올 있어요
Do you have any paper towels?


난 그녀가 나한테주는 우유와 치즈를위한 나의 사랑 암소
I love my cow for she gives me milk and cheese
:)


안녕, 내 이상한 친구
Hello my weird friend


삶이 좋아
Life is good

Korean Adoption in the Headlines

KATHERINE HEIGL AND JOSH KELLEY ADOPT BABY

Beverly Hills, CA; September 17, 2009…

Katherine Heigl (Grey's Anatomy) and Josh Kelley (singer) have adopted a 10 month old, special needs baby girl from Korea.

Katherine and Josh have named their daughter Nancy Leigh and she will go by the nickname Naleigh. She is named after Katherine’s mother Nancy and Katherine's sister Margaret Leigh. . Heigl's sister, Meg, was adopted from Korea.

Katherine, Josh and Naleigh are together and doing well

"We started talking about adoption even before we were engaged because it's really important to me," Heigl said. "It's been a big part of my life and my family. My sister is Korean and my parents adopted her back in the '70s
and so I just always knew that this is something I wanted to do."

What a sweet family!

I hope and pray that publicity like this will cause other families to open their hearts and their lives to adoption...

beautiful

i found this gorgeous pic on flickr by LadyExpat
"rural korea springtime"

flickr...... by Derekwin

Kyeongbokgung guard Seoul South Korea

from flickr by Derekwin

lantern festival, seoul, south korea

flickr... by kwang-chual
korean maisan landscape

Wild elephants in Seoul!! ;)

The Korea Times

Pair of Elephants Investigated for Throwing Rocks at Woman

Gwangjin Police Station in eastern Seoul began an investigation Tuesday into a report from a 48-year-old woman, identified as a Kim, alleging she sustained a head injury after being hit by a rock thrown by an elephant.

According to police officers, Kim went to the zoo in the Children’s Grand Park Monday afternoon and was hit by a rock she claimed an elephant threw at her using its trunk.

However, she admitted that she didn’t see the rock being thrown by the elephant.

“I was passing the lion’s den and heading toward the elephant enclosure,” she was quoted as saying. “Then, I passed out after being hit on the back of my head.”

When she came to, she found two rocks the size of an adult’s fist nearby. All she remembered was that two elephants had coiled their trunks and stared at her.

Police said that Kim went to the zoo office and reported it before going home, believing her pain would go away. When the pain came back, she checked into a hospital and reported the incident to the police.

She blamed the park office for the elephants’ behavior but police didn’t say whether she was seeking damages.

Police were at a loss what to do at first but decided to investigate whether her account was true.

“This is the first case I have heard of an elephant throwing a rock at a person and injuring him or her,” said a veteran detective assigned to the case.

Police have secured a surveillance video from near the elephant enclosure.

foolsdie@koreatimes.co.kr

looking forward to autumn.

found a few pics on flickr of the areas we will be visiting next month....
new hampshire, vermont, and maine.


good, lord!
i feel like a 90 year old woman.... excited to see trees change color. ;)
but it is going to be amazing, i know it!

lake sunapee, new hampshire... by brentdanley

woodstock, vermont.... by Stefan Mendelsohn

Quechee Gorge, Vermont... by NearDC

Vermont Covered Bridge... by Art-

Nubble lighthouse, York, Maine... by joep373526

Kennebunkport, Maine... by msummerchick(Deja-Vu photography)
ok... so most likely there will not be snow on the ground in maine but i loved this pic anyway!


we cannot wait for our little getaway!
thanks again to my sister, dawanna, for letting us use her timeshare! :)